I begin the day at 6:20 am, head to work, and work till 3:00 pm. I get cleaned up and head to my brothers Stag & Doe for 5:00 pm. We get there and start setting up. The girl I’m assigned to work with and that I think they’re trying to set me up with, I’ll call “HBArrr”, informs me that we’re working together, and doesn’t notice the shoes. During setup someone compliments my gold shoes and HBArrr finally noticed them and wonders why she didn’t notice them. She shit tests me on them saying they are ugly, I simply laugh. I bring my punk-style sunglasses with me, which she shit tests me by calling them “girl glasses”. We start working together and start with “So what have you been up to”, and build from there. I try hard to move away from negative conversations and stay positive constantly, which she notices and says that I always find the better side. We kino throughout the night (starting with tapping her arm with the back of my hand when starting a converstion -> momentarily placing my hand on her thigh on many occassions). We have goofy photos of us taken together and I bring up sexual jokes such as the following (though I never said them verbatim):

The telepathic watch. You can act this one out with her or tell it as a joke as a safer alternative:) “A rather confident man walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, then casually looks at his watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?” “No”, he replies, “I just bought this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it.” The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?” “It uses alpha waves to telepathically talk to me,” he explains. “What’s it telling you now?” “Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties.” The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken then, because I am wearing panties!” The man starts tapping on the watch face and says, “Damn thing must be an hour fast!”

Voodoo dildo
(Here’s a great joke to tell a woman you ALREADY have good rapport with or already know well. Notice how it uses embedded commands to get her all hot and horny)

This guy is leaving town on business for a week and he’s starting to get a little worried. You see, his wife is a nymphomaniac, and he knows that as soon as he leaves, she’ll start to GET VERY HORNY and think to herself, “YOU’VE GOT TO GET SOME”. So he goes to the adult toy shop to check out what they’ve got. And he notices there’s an ornately carved wood box behind the counter. So he asks the salesman what it is, and the salesman says, “Oh…that’s the voodoo dildo. Here…let me show you.” So the salesman opens the box, and there, lying on a bed of red velvet is what looks like an ordinary vibrator. The salesman says, “Watch this! Voodo dildo-door!”. The voodoo dildo rises from the box and flies across the room and begins banging like crazy against the keyhole! Before it can break the door down, the salesman says, “Voodoo dildo-box!” and the dildo soars back and gently lands in its box.

Well, needless to say, the guy HAS to have the voodoo dildo! At first the salesman refuses but after an hour of haggling and $1000, the man walks off with the magic dingus. He explains how it works to his wife, and kissing her goodbye, sets off on his trip. Now, she resists using it for two days, but finally, she starts to FEEL THE HORNINESS BUILDING INSIDE. She can’t take it anymore, so she opens the box and says, “Voodoo dildo-my pussy!”. The voodoo dildo slams into her and begins pumping her in every conceivable position and angle. She can’t believe the power and precision; she’s getting it with exactly the right strokes, exactly the right angles, exactly the right pressure and she starts to HAVE ORGASM AFTER THUNDERING ORGASM.”

After two hours, she can’t take it any more, but she can’t pull the damn thing out! The harder she tries, the more it seems to change it’s shape and adapt to her, to fill her exactly the way she needs to to drive her to WANT IT MORE AND MORE AND MORE WITHOUT STOPPING! She tries calling 911, but they don’t believe her! So she decides to drive herself to the hospital. As she’s headed down the road, she’s moaning in pleasure and desire, because the dildo keeps making her HAVE UNBELIEVABLE ORGASMS. Because she’s swerving all over the road, a motocycle cop pulls her over!! The cop wants to know if she’s been drinking, and she says, “Officer…I wasn’t drinking! It’s all because of the voodoo-dildo!”

Then the cop looks right at her and says, “voodoo-dildo MY ASS!”

At the end of the night I feel that she is amazing, which she is (cute, an aspiring paramedic who volunteers all around the world to help children, as well as a ballet/jazz dancer), and we could be more than simply friends. I just want her to be happy and being with me, with what I’m doing, will cause her unhappiness. . . .