Coffee Dates Suck
By V on Aug 31, 2007 in Dates, Practice, Ramblings
Before I head out for the evening I have to know something; how do I make a coffee date more exciting for me?
I had my first coffee date today and it was boring as HELL! I went out of my way to meet this girl at a “fancy” coffee shop. We had the same old conversation (i.e. “Where do you work?”, “What do you do for fun?”, blah blah blah). I EVEN PAID FOR HER BUBBLE TEA! This is not something I want to do again.
I have three more coffee dates this weekend; one on Saturday and two on Sunday. I do not want to repeat my first coffee date. What do you guys recommend I do to make these upcoming coffee dates more exciting for me?
Post your recommendations in the comments section.
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take it to go, and simply go for a walk.
Don’t come up with those lame boring questions. Chat about another couple 2 tables away, the waitress, people walking by. Hell, talk about Britney’s comeback. If she aks you about your work, age, whatever…just say something awkward. Be playful.
Get her excited by talking about your puppy, cat, art, etc. After the date (coffee dates shouldn’t take a lot of your time), when you’re in front of your place, suggest that she can pop in for a brief moment to take a look at your interesting paintings, books, cat etc.
Just avoid those lame questions!
The thing I do for coffee dates is 1. show up early and get my drink first, that way when she shows up I am already coffee in hand and out of paying for hers.
Also, for me once she gets her coffee I say “Let’s
Go” and we start walking to local shops. The coffee shop I usually go to is in a huge outside mall with plenty of stores to go into. If I am feeling it I will ask her to help me pick out some clothes and even if I don’ have the intent on buying anything, I will still let her pick out some outfits and just neg her on how bad of a taste she has.
I also like to take them into Barns N Noble and go around looking for books and magazines. For me its been a great way to find out what she is into and again its a great conversation piece when she is telling you about this book she just couldn’t put down.
One date I had specifically, we grabbed a coffee and then walked over to a costume shop and had a blast trying on different costumes.
So that is my advice but before I go you can try this out if you would like but when I get there early I always make sure I am on the phone with one of my buddys and when she shows up I give her a small wave but don’t pay her that much attention. I will talk to my friend for another 10-15 seconds and then get up and neg her for not giving me a hug right away.
Hope this helps!
Bannish the “interview style” conversation of your game.
Don’t give her personnal infos in the beginning, keep mystery on the details of your live. Answer with fun lines (”What do i do ? Apart from gogo-dancing ?”). Use story-tellings to demonstrate value and create connection, talking about feelings and emotions (with trips, exciting experiences in sports, adventures, etc.)
When she gives you personnals infos on her, use it to run cold-reading stuff.
Sexualize the conversation very quick. Play with her, Push her with cocky lines, Pull with compliments. Show that you know a lot about women and your ‘re not ashamed talking about sex like other guys.
Sometimes it’s no so easy, often when the girl is very shy but don’t fall into her state. Lead the interaction, create moves.
Girls want to have fun, always reminds one of our french PUA !)
[…] I want to thank Ben, Centric, Wisdom, and Ex-ki for their comments on improving my coffee date experiences. I read your ideas and put them into action. The date I had […]
I usually remark something about her personality. That will most likely get her talking.
Oh, your a X girl.
Oh, your the latte type.
Oh, I get it. I totally get it. You’re one of those geek girls.
I bet you’re a papa’s girl.
I’ll keep pinging and pushing her with those small assumptions and statements, then I’ll give her small compliments when she sais something I find cool about her (not her looks).
Another cool thing I may do, is give her points for every cool thing she sais. Oh, you think? Wow, I’ll give you ten points for that. Yeah, now you only need to get to 100 points, and I’ll give you a hug - if I don’t have to give you minus points, that is!
Or maybe I’ll even give her a totally off compliment for something stupid, like her shoes. And then I’ll tone it down into nothing. “WOW, those are like the COOLEST shoes I’ve ever seen… Today, that is.. Well, more like the last hour, actually. Well, surely cooler than most shoes, but, you know, it’s not like they’re made of gold.”
Generally, I just love to give coffee dates a hard time - as long as it keeps her smiling and laughing.