Afraid To Settle Down?
By V on Sep 23, 2007 in Ramblings
I met a girl on Friday that seems different from most girls I’ve met. She’s intelligent, witty, caring, has a beautiful face, and a sexy naked body. Did I mention she was RICH!? 
I was visiting my mom and I this girl kept coming to mind.
While at my mom’s place I kept asking myself, “Should I treat this girl different than others? Should I be nice and try for a long term relationship?” An immediate mental reply was, “NO! She’s just another girl.” I wondered, “Why do I tell myself that I shouldn’t have a long term relationship?”
I’ve never had a long term contractual relationship. I don’t have a car that would require payments, I don’t have a mortgage, I don’t have a cell phone . . . I don’t have anything related to a contract. Why? Cause I’m a guy. I want to be free. I feel that as soon as I’m signing a contract that I am stuck there for life. In our society we are stuck for life; in debt, in marriage, in beliefs.
Why the hell am I associating all this bullshit with a women I met a couple days ago!?
I guess I’m afraid of this fling leading to a long term relationship, and then leading to bigger things, like marriage. Once you get married then it’s 50/50. The same shit every day. I don’t like supporting someone else, and I don’t like people supporting me, though I don’t mind.
I just can’t see myself walking down the aisle with “the woman of my life.”
I’m the kind of guy who, logically, doesn’t want to get married, EVER! I’m also have a feminine side, and emotions come with the feminine. I’m afraid that by meeting the “right” girl that my emotions will overcome my logic. Is this bad? I’m not sure, because what’s bad to one person is amazing to another.
This girl I met on Friday is amazing. Will things get to the point where my emotions will overcome my logic? I, logically, doubt it, but there is that chance.
If that point comes where I’ve met “the one”, and I want to devote everything to her, I want you guys, and gals, to set me straight.
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I hope to god your not talking about the 16 year old. Either way - hit it and quit it
No, I’m not talking about the 16-year-old. I’ve already “hit it” and I may “hit it” again.
V
Damn V,
It really depends on why you got into pick up. There are some guys out there who go into this to just get laid. There’s others who do this just to talk to girls and get a girlfriend.
Which one are you?
The way you talk about her here seems as if she already got into you and if she is as perfect as you say- go for it and see what happens. Its ok to move on to the next step. Just take what you have here with you. Cause thats what has attratced her to you, and that is the goal of the Art.
Face
facemanpua@gmail.com
Faceman.becomingapua.com
if you can move beyond your fear, you will gain freedom. if you meet the one, then i think it is time to retire from the game and play another “game”. my two cents.
Just be careful that you don’t get what Mystery calls ‘one-itis’. Last Friday I too met a woman that I really like. And I could tell that we had good chemistry because kissing her just felt *right*. But I haven’t heard from her since, despite her telling me that she wanted something real and thought we shared a conection…
Without sounding like a “once bitten twice shy” kinda guy, I think that there are many women who are great at seducing you with their mind, convincing you that they’re different and that you can trust them. They reel you in and when they have you they withdraw. Perhaps it comes from some emotional intimacy/ need to be love issue. I don’t know. All I’m saying is stay on your game and give this girl time to prove herself to you. If you suspect you might want to take her seriously, get her to do much more qualifying of herself. Good luck with it!
I thought the point of wanting to go out and attracting girls was to find a girlfriend. If your point in (the next few years of) life is bang 1000 girls, then go ahead, ignore all feelings that you’re having. Be a rock!
Here’s my story.
2 months ago, this happened to me, I really did think she was amazing (I don’t believe in ‘the one’ and all that shit…)…. wait, she wasn’t amazing, she is amazing.
I let my feelings conquer my logic. And, well, it ddn’t go that well…. (long religious bullshit story)
But, hey. Do what you want to do. Pick-up is about being ready for meeting a great girl…. So if u think ur rdy, then go have a great experience
Give it 6 months if shes not completely annoying or you two aren’t totally sick of each other then maybe she is a keeper.
I know the feeling. I am currenltly knee deep in a relationship and keep asking myself how the fuck did i get hear?
Relationships fuck things up. No more Brazil fuck fests… no more random one nighters… no more easy Match.com lays… no more milf hunting on adult friedfinder… no more 17 year olds (i’ve done a 17 year old, but 16 seems a little young.. though not saying I wouldnt)
Either way fear of commitment is really just a fear of giving up all these wonderful things that used to be my life.
You’ve compelled me to break up with my girl!
There is just one problem, you hate all that is contractual. eventually, you have to live on your own, which means you either rent or own. Both require contract. Just wanted to emphasize that there is no absolute in life even though I am on the same page as you.