I just finished a delicious Thanksgiving feast at my nana and papa’s home. Much love to them!

Now we’ll discuss being around models for a weekend!

The first thing I should say is that model wannabe’s are the most INSECURE girls you could EVER find. The “I’m hot” attitude drops when they are around girls MUCH hotter. If a girl is pretty damn hot, but doesn’t have an agent, then you tell her she’s pretty but it’s highly unlikely she’ll get a modeling contact. It’s cruel, but do whatever works. Something crueler to say is, “You might be good enough to do commercials. Can you act like you’re hot?”

Friday, October 5, 2007

I arrive at my hotel. It is a five-minute walk to where the convention is. I chose my hotel cause it is $50 cheaper per night than the convention hotel. I come with $300 in cash for the weekend. I don’t use a debit card, just cash. When I pay for my room I’m left with about twenty dollars. I didn’t realize that I would be paying deposits on the room. I’m not a crazy rocker who’d trash a room . . . OK maybe I would, but that’s not the point. The point is I’m left with $20 for three days in an area meant for business professionals. For a bun with deli meat it’s $6.

I decide to limit my food consumption during my weekend. Chewing gum, drinking water, and lots of naps will suppress my hunger. I take a quick nap before heading to the convention for registration.

I wake up, put on pimp gold shoes, a bright aqua coloured dress shirt, tight fitting jeans, and contact lenses. I look like a pimp, so I slick my hair back with some old school Murray’s Pomade. I walk over to the convention and I am in model heaven!

Everywhere I look there are attractive girls! The issue with this is that I cannot tell how old these girls are. They are primped to the nines. A girl who’s 14 years old looks at least 19 years old. I’m getting a boner and I have no idea who to use it on! If I go after a girl and she turns out to be14 year old then I’m in trouble. It’s not the age that’s the problem. The problem comes from her father who’s probably right around the corner.

I decide to play it safe and go after the older models. These girls range from mid twenties to late fifties. I stay within the 25-to-35 range. After 35 I worry that they’re too close to my mother’s age. I wait in line for registration. When I get to the booth I’m met by an attractive model.

This girl is about 28 and an international model. We chat while she’s filling out my registration information. She mentions that she loves an Alicia Key’s song playing on the radio. I reply with, “No way! That’s funny, cause I HATE ALICIA KEYS!” This gets her emotions up. She tells me how great Alicia Keys is and that I have no idea what I’m talking about. I act bored and when she stops flapping her lips I say, “Are you finished talking?”

She clearly hasn’t heard someone talk to her that way in a while.

I begin to talk about music that I prefer. Like Alicia Key’s musical influences; Tupac, Notorious B.I.G. and classical composers like Beethoven. She agrees that my preferences are much better than Alicia Keys. She hands me my registration card and an Aldo goodie bag. I say, “Thanks.” She responds with a smile. I walk away and look at all the crap I’ve been given. I notice on the registration card that she wrote her number with the note, “Call me.”

I don’t have a cell phone, and I don’t have money to waste on a payphone. So calling this girl is out of question. I’ll probably see her later on so I’m not too worried.

I’m walking around the hotel and realize that there is nothing to do. There is just registration, orientation and then some runway practice session later on in the day. I decide to chill at a high traffic area in the hotel.

It’s a romantic area. It looks like a living room. There are nice couches, a fireplace and glass wall with a waterfall.

I choose a comfy couch with a bunch of pillows. I put my goodie bag crap on the floor and bust out The Iliad by Homer. I have no ancient Greek knowledge so The Iliad turns out to be near impossible for me to comprehend. I decide to battle through it by referring back to the introduction for notes. While I’m doing this for a couple hours I notice I’m getting lots of attention.

With the younger girls the attention is coming from my gold shoes. With the older girls it’s coming from my book.

The Iliad is what hooks a 32 year old.

I’m trying to understand what I’m reading when I hear, “What are you reading?” I look up and notice a girl hovering over me. This girl is a MILF. She’s hotter than Rachel Hunter. I give a smart response, “A book.” She rolls her eyes with a smile.

I move the cushions beside me, giving her space to sit. While moving one pillow I “accidentally” hit her in the butt with it. She says, “Hey!” I say, “OK, we’ll save the pillow fight for later.” I pat the couch with my hand and she sits down. We chat about serious topics like her daughter, her divorce, our age difference and how she looks. Our conversation goes on for about 40minutes. I get the obvious vibe that she wants me.

I make a small comment that her lips are a little dry. She asks if I have any lip-gloss. I tell her, “No.” She says, “Well I have to look good for this convention all the time. I have to get some lip-gloss” I laugh. She says, “I’m serious!” I say, “Well you better get some lip-gloss then.” I do a little secret I learned from Hypnotica. She says she has some lip moisturizer in her room.

I say, “Well go get it.” She says, “Come with me.” I tell her that I want to do some reading and I might see her around later. She pulls me up by my arm. I say, “Hey! I like it when a girl is rough, but let me get my things first.”

I get all my stuff and we head up to her room. We have a quick session and chill in her room till the orientation at 7.

I even score some protein bars! I didn’t tell her, I just stuck a couple in my goodie bag while she was having a shower.

Tomorrow I’ll post my Saturday in Toronto.