Weekend Breakdown
By V on Oct 15, 2007 in Bars, Practice, Quotes, Ramblings
This weekend something weird happened to me; I had a breakdown in front of a girl.
It happened on Saturday.
I’m at the bar mingling with loads of sets. Things are going fine, but I’m not on my A game. Tonight I feel that I won’t attract a victim home with me.
I’m in a 3-set; 2 girls and 1 guy. We’re talking about how great it is to shop in the USA, because the Canadian dollar is so good. While we’re talking this girl Megan comes and taps me on the shoulder.
Megan is a girl I had a one nightstand with a few weeks back. She’s cute, but dumb. It’s evident that she’s been drinking and she wants to recreate that one nightstand.
I weigh my options; go with Megan or POSSIBLY another girl.
I chose the guarantee; Megan.
I put her in my car and went to my place.
She’s drunk, but not smashed. I think she’ll remember the night.
We arrive at my place; I take her down stairs and throw her on my bed. Make-out session commences and we remove one another’s clothes.
I see her naked on my bed and I begin to get an odd feeling. I begin to question myself; “Why the hell do I want to bag this girl? She’s messed up and wants nothing more out of this relationship.”, “Are these the girls you want? Drunk chicks?”, “Why did you settle for this? You’re better than that.”
I then had the urge to cry. I tried holding it back. I remembered the phrase from the book Way of the Peaceful Warrior, “Let it flow, and let it go.”
I let it flow and I just bawled my eyes out.
I think my crying is from more than just this incident, cause I cried A LOT.
Megan didn’t find my crying too attractive. She knew my crying had something to do with her.
If you want to kill the mood, cry.
She got dressed and got some well-needed rest.
I’m no psychologist. My crying had something to do with letting myself down. Rather than struggle to get what I want, a smart girl who is very attractive, I settled for something less.
From this day on I will go after what I want. If I don’t get what I want, then I’ll go home, regroup and try another way to get what I want.
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one word….RESPECT
PROPS!
Dont worry pal :), it’s a lesson worth learning
Good on you, man.
Just a guess… self esteem issues?
No, he doesn’t have self-esteem issues, he just grew as human being, Congratulations V for your accomplishment!
Primus,
I would say that I had a lack of confidence in myself when I chose to go home with Megan.
V
Never beat yourself up over settling…
I look at it all as “Practice for the big game”
You know how many fatties I’ve fucked over the years? A few tons worth. Do i regret it? Hell no. I fucked those fatties good. I tried out new moves, different positions, took chances, basically rehearsed my sexual routine for the times I was banging the chicks i wanted. Those fatties made me the pro I am now.
It’s like a comedian.
Before going for the big show (Letterman or Leno) a comedian will practice in all the comedy clubs.
When it comes to practicing for the big show (the girl of your dreams) a hole is a hole.
V
Great to hear man. It takes balls to stand up to yourself and not follow the social norm sometimes of your friends, peers, etc.
Good luck.
David D ‘On Being a Man’ talks about the importance of grieving over events which have emotionally scared you - it heals the wound.
I hope it healed you a little :).
Chris
V i got some questions for you do you have an email or a aim that i could talk to u on.
You can find my e-mail address at http://www.becomingapua.com/contact-me/
V
I already commented once on this problem fucking ages ago….
alright, sure, u might be having fun and picking up girls banging them and then that’s that, what every AFC wants. But seriously, instead of being some freak who thinks he’s a PUA because he goes to volunteer philosophy classes and the library to get girls….. How about being a little more normal?
GET A FUCKING LIFE!!!
Go to philosophy classes to learn philosohpy, go to the library to get books….
god dammit man….
I’ve already seen what my life would be like if I was to be “normal”. A “normal” life is not the life I want to live.
V
V,
Completely on your page. You had an event. You thought maybe theres something more to the PUA than just banging girls. Your didn’t feel she was your par and I guess at some point inside you- you figured that you would feel some reward personally for everything. Only thing is tonight you didn’t. You felt bad for the easy shot and got dissappointed in life. Only means on thing- you need to start going after your ideal girl. You now need the reward from the training.
P.S. Fuck normal life- everything you do and post on here helps countless others who are fucking clueless with girls