Book Recommendations To Be More “High Class”
By V on Oct 28, 2007 in Ramblings
I met this girl who has family in “high” places. She invited me to one of her parents’ parties. I told her, “No.”
I declined her invitation because I’ve had bad experiences with upper class people.
My style of questioning everything doesn’t mesh with their tried and true ways.
Do you guys recommend any books for “impressing” upper class people (i.e. wine related books or table manners books)?
V
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Dude, you shouldn’t have ditched that. If she invited you, she perceives you to be of her class already.
First off, don’t try to impress. Be yourself, or be mysterious if you have to. Trying too hard to impress marks you as low status.
Re questioning: you should consider mimicking the traits of successful people, just as you would mimic the traits of successful PUAs. Listen and learn. You can always question privately. Haven’t you read the 48 Laws of Power yet?
Class: A Guide Through the American Status System, by Paul Fussell, is the Bible. Some of the clothes advice may be a tad dated, but it is generally still on the mark. The magazine, Vanity Fair, can be a good guide to the rich in general.
Books that have been recommended to me, but that I haven’t read include: The Right Kind of People, and Slim, by Slim Keith.
Hey Max,
48 Laws of Power, A Guide Through the American Status Sytem, and Slim look like excellent reads.
Thanks for the recommendations Max.
V
you should’ve gone purely for the experience, thats how you “acquire” class
You only have once chance to make a first impression.
V
Just because your rich doesnt mean you have class, you can be poor and have class. That is more about manner, I know some classless rich people. Learn good manners, you should really be yourself, theres no such thing as failure just feedback thats why you should have took the chance.
I think you’re underestimating your game - these kinds of conversational gambits work extremely well on upper class people. It depends on what they’re like, of course, but the ones who consider themselves to be clever all love anecdotes and mental puzzles. They might not handle negs in stride, but if you already have an in, you shouldn’t need to neg.
Ditch the etiquette books and read Oscar Wilde - bantering with rich people is a timeless tradition.
Try something new - step out of your comfort zone!
In the UK here are there lots of snobby types floating around. I usually avoid them but when I have had to interact with them follow some basic rules:
1 - Smile lots. Be warm but not approval seeking.
2 - Find the eccentrics (there are always some!) and hang with them. They will usually enjoy talking to someone with alternative ideas but dont push them if an idea pops into your head. Pace them and follow.
3 - Dont bother impressing them with your amazing life. They wont get it. Be ultra modest about success. Compliment others on their success. Charisma!
4 - Dress smart and appropriately. This is very important.
5 - Be a hidden gem. Dont be brash or cocky.
6 - Good posture at all times.
7 - Just be confident and roll around introducing yourself to everyone. One thing these people know how to do is socialise. Keep the energy measured. Think Roger Moore!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hXqmI1vg3dA
8 - Be a good guest. Please and Thankyous will always have a place in polite society.
If I were you I would go. You never know what interesting people you will meet. You will endure the boring stuff about what you want to do when you leave college crap but ask them about their lives. I think with your PUA skills this will be a breeze!
G
Three things project your class:
1) the way you speak
2) the way you eat
3) the way you gamble
Don’t gamble, stick to 1) and 2). I can’t teach you how to eat in a two paragraph comment box, but taking small bites, holding your utensils delicately, and being relaxed accomplishes a good part. As for speaking, avoid euphemisms (the rich and elegant speak bluntly), don’t ask “what do you do?” rather, ask “what business are you in?” Modulate your words. The fastest way to speak like highly educated is to pronounce every sillable.
Some book recommendations: “Richistan” by Robert Frank and “Live for Success” by John Molloy.