I was doing my rounds earlier today at the mall. My openers dealt with “The Perfect Gift”:

- “What do you want for Christmas”
- “What is “the perfect gift”?”
- “What the hell am I going to buy!?”
- “Who has a fucking Wii around here?”
- “What gift wouldn’t you want to receive for Christmas?”

The last question is what I’ll focus on in this post.

I asked around 20 girls (I forgot to bring my notebook, so I don’t have EXACT numbers) what gift they don’t want to receive this holiday season.

Gifts girls don’t want to receive are ill-fitting clothes, ugly shoes (no-name brand, wal-mart brand, old style), cash, crummy gift-cards (in terms of amount/where it can be used), and erotic toys.

While walking by a McDonald’s I noticed that they offer gift cards. They are red with a yellow smile. I found a new opener!

“I’m looking to get a Christmas gift for my girlfriend. What do you guys think about a McDonald’s gift card?”

I asked over 10 girls. There were unanimous objections to such a gift.

If there is a girl you wish to part ways with this holiday season then look no further. Place a McDonald’s gift card in a beautiful envelope and tell the girl not to open it till Christmas.

Make it even “better” by including a price on a blank McDonald’s gift card. Make it a realistic amount (i.e. $30).

I’m off to spread some holiday cheer!