I came home yesterday to a bunch of phone messages. Some are on voice mail and some are noted on paper by my dad. I was too tired to bother with them, so I left them for the day.

Today I returned some of the calls.

One was to Krystal. I met her sometime at the beginning of December. She’s the kind of girl that tries to impress (i.e. Fancy Starbucks multiple times a day, shopping every day for something new, and looking PERFECT before letting anyone, other than her room, see her).

I’d give her a 9.5 if she had a cool personality, but she’s annoying as hell, so she gets a 7.5.

I give Krystal a call and we talk about what we did for new years. I tell her that I just went to the casino and played nickel slots. She doesn’t buy it and insists I tell her what I did, but only when she arrives at my place.

I’m not interested in having her over, especially for sex, cause it’s pretty bad and afterwards she’s in the washroom cleaning herself up for an hour.

I tell her I’m not interested, but she throws out the fact that she got me a late Christmas gift.

I say, “OK”.

She comes over and she’s looking her “hot” self, but she’s still annoying.

We go downstairs and I tell her about my new years in NYC.

After that I ask her for my gift. She pulls out a CD; Mum - Finally We Are No One. She takes it out of the wrapper and puts it in my high-quality $30 portable player from Wal-Mart.

We proceed to have sex to the music.

After we finish she gets herself cleaned up in my washroom, which is currently under renovation (it’s bare cement floor with a sink, mirror, cupboards, towel, and my toothbrush).

I forgot to mention that she brings over her make-up, hairspray, and other crap to get back to “perfection”. Why? Cause there’s no way I’m losing valuable toothbrush space for her to leave her stuff.

While she’s doing her thing in the washroom I do a little reading.

She gets herself together, leaves, and I continue on with my call backs.

I don’t know if it was the sex that was the gift or the CD. I liked the CD more than the sex, so if she forgot the CD and wants it back then I’ll tell her, “No”.

Here’s my favourite track. The band, Mum, is Icelandic and I could only find the MP3 in Icelandic. The track, in English, is “We Have A Map Of The Piano”.