Sean Messenger was a participant on For Love or Money 2, an instructor PickUp101, and is now doing his own thing at http://seanmessenger.com. He’s the kind of guy who’ll tell it like it is, or make it seem like he’s telling you like it is. Here are notes from his seminar:

Notes

- He doesn’t give a fuck about the context of pickup

- To get an interaction going just start with a joke, and then go into your routine

He’s socialphobic
- Having one friend who’s also insecure is a disadvantage
- When he was a kid he stayed home and read lots about Greek mythology

- He saw himself as different from everyone else. He saw himself as an alien brought down to observe people

- What was missing was people. Women aren’t that different. Women are more skillful socially, and that’s what he lacked.

- The great thing about being a man is the powerful energy that women like. What gets you pussy is not the words, it’s the energy.

- A disadvantage to being a man is all the shit in the brain. We were rewarded for thinking when we were younger. Our brain is in the loop telling us that we are no good for anybody.

- Got into PickUp101 cause he was alone, even when he was with someone.

- Started with Match.com; he could sell anything.

- When the girl was gone he realized he had no life left. He didn’t care about anything. When she broke up with him, cause she got back with the ex and got pregnant and wanted to marry her ex.

- He realized his problem was not the girl, it was that he had no other people in his life.

- If you are nervous when picking up the phone, then you have a problem.

- What was missing was just to have people around.

- What happened with the girl was he called her and said, “I have a meeting and I don’t know what to say. What should I do?” He turned her into mom.

Steps to an interaction:
1. Introduce yourself.
2. Ask questions.

How do you maintain an interaction?
- Ask, pay attention, relate. Don’t try to be cool or try to impress someone
- Talk to people more

- You don’t need to impress them.

- There is a power dynamic in every interaction

- QUICKLY RELATE TO SOMEONE

How to make small talk
- “Hey How you doin’? My names ______. What’s your name?”
- It’s polite and it’s what people do. You give something of yourself and it gives you an opportunity to talk more.
- When meeting someone for the first time DON’T LOOK/FIND THE GREATEST QUESTION (i.e. what are you passionate about? That is inappropriate and not what people do) (“cool” kids are cool because they ask questions you listen and relate to.)
- When someone answers a question, DON’T get into your head and try to think of the next question. Cause you’re unable to hear what they are saying and thus unable to relate.

- EXPOSE YOURSELF.

- You learn piece by piece

- Get friends, get social networks.

- You may get away lieing for a day (SEE BRAVEHEART to see a leader of men).

- Women want a guy you leads men, has passion and goals

- IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO BE A LONER AND GOOD WITH WOMEN

- Has a friend who is better with women than anyone known. He picked up a girl that everyone wants. Now she’s pregnant. He can’t be with a woman cause he’s afraid someone who is as good as him will take her away. He’s lonely cause he’s too good.

- You make yourself invaluable by being good with people. No one cares how smart you are. It annoys them. What they care about is how you make them feel (comfortable or ill at ease), cause people respond to their emotions. With social skills, breaking out of isolation will get you ahead.

- He has no social skills, he’s social phobic, which is what makes him a good teacher

- EFFORT, NOT EPIPHANY

- Don’t go from 0 to benching 500lbs, you’ll die. Start with small weight.

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