Hey V,

I’m another fan of your website. I was just wondering, what’s your take on meeting girl friends online?

I have a more specific example. Truth is, I’m only 15. I’m trying to get the art down early so I am an experienced pick-up artist by the time I hit college, when it’s really going to matter. I’ve met some girls I might be interested in online (not through a dating service of course, just through perusing forums and through networking sites) and I have always been at a loss at how to correctly handle the situation. Any advice on this subject would be much appreciated.

I find that meeting girls, between ages 18 and 25, from the Internet too easy. I’m 23 so I prefer to meet girl friends in real life, cause I can approach a wider array of women in real life than a 15-year-old could.

If you want experience then you want quantity, not quality.

Being that you’re 15 I’d recommend the following:

- Use the Internet (i.e. Facebook, myspace . . .) when finding girls to date. It’ll allow you to find many girls around your age with ease.

- When it comes to cold approaching I’d recommend the street. Approach everyone (guys, girls, young, old, black, white) and introduce yourself.

With approach and dating experience you’ll be more than ready when you get to college.

Once you’re in college, and of legal drinking age, then focus on finding dates in the real world and less on the Internet

—

If you have any questions my e-mail is v [at] becomingapua.com

Hey V,

I recently found your website and I’m really intrigued by your 50 woman “wanna fuck” challenge. I’ve had some pretty good success with women lately, but when I was reading how that experience affected you, I felt like there’s something that you gleaned from the experience that I’d really benefit from. Soooooo, I’ve decide to do it, and I’d like to do it as quickly as possible. Are there any tips you could give me, or just talk shop with me a bit about it? I’m unsure as to where to go to do this, could you suggest some places? Also, when you did it, did you approach groups, or girls with guys? I could see the latter being a problem in particular especially because some dudes just get shit crazy when they’re threatened and turn super aggressive, so obviously I can see the inherent risk of that, but maybe that’s a good growing experience. I know a lot of this just comes down to common sense and personal judgment, but if you could shed some light that will help me gain the most from the experience I’d really appreciate it. Thankyou so much in advance, and for your time in reading this.

Solidscore

PS- I’ll write back to tell you how it went.

For those who have no idea what Solidscore is talking about just go to this post.

If you are well known in your city, or have a respectable position that you don’t want to screw with, then go to another city to perform this.

I’d suggest a local University/College when performing this, cause of the concentration of hot girls. If something should go wrong then go to another building and the girl(s) you had issues with are likely to graduate in 1 to 4 years.

BUT since you want to get this over with quickly, and it is summer, then go to malls and/or festivals and/or bars.

When it comes to who to approach then, again, use common sense. I’m decent in getting out of situations when someone gets irate so I’d approach anyone EXCEPT couples (got to have SOME respect) and girls with relatives (you’re asking for it if you approach a girl with her father).

You don’t have to do all 50 in a single day. You can do 5 a day for 10 days and just approach girls who are alone.

The great thing about this is that, afterwards, approaching girls becomes A LOT easier.

Let me know how it goes.

—

If you have any questions my e-mail is v [at] becomingapua.com

Mr. Anthony Stark asks:

Whats up V,

Just read your Jul 21 post and decided that it wouldn’t hurt me to start being proactive in my personal growth (and that includes using all available resource, like you.) I stumbled upon your blog way after you stopped being a AFC so I started reading your posts in chronological order. Unfortunately there are a lot of posts.

So I was wondering if you were starting out today as a AFC wanting change, where would you begin (read, do, etc.) ?

I already decided to kick up my hygiene (flossing), work out, and I’ve read The Game and David Allen’s productivity book Getting Things Done.

I think you’ll recommend The Wisdom of Milton H Erickson and The Superior Man, but what other books do you recommend?

Respect,
Mr. Anthony Stark

If I was starting out . . .

1. I’d get out of the television and get back to reality. They call it television PROGRAMMING for a reason. You are not Tony Stark. You are NOT Iron Man. Try just being you rather than pretending to be someone you’re not.

When you get this mindset that you’re something you’re clearly not then you get delusional. When you get delusional then no one wants to be around you.

When it comes to delusional look no further than Ross Jeffries (the guy sports a Green Lantern ring . . . ). Once you find out Jeffries’ tricks, which are pretty good, and that he’s pretty much in this community for the money then you move on to better people and better things.

Here’s a clip from the movie Network. It does a good job at explaining the power of the television:

No computer will ever match the power of your brain. No human could never recreate the human body from scratch. Rather than marvelling at your own body you aspire to be something from Marvel Comics?

They say most people only use 10% of their brain. I’m willing to say that most people use 0% of their brain. Much of society are given patterns to follow; they go to school to learn the pattern of 9-to-5 and they watch television to be be given patterns on how to behave (i.e. what’s appropriate to wear, to be politically correct, what to eat, etc.).

Do you want to LIVE your life (thinking and analyzing life) or do you want to be just another walking dead (just following the approved pattern given at that moment)?

2. I’d get out of being labeled. When you say, “I’m an AFC” then you’re saying that you’re a frustrated chump 24/7. When you say, I’m a PUA” then you’re saying that you’re a pick-up artist 24/7.

You’re an AFC at the moment you’re buying a group of unknown girls a round of drinks. You’re a PUA at the moment you’re leaving the club with the most beautiful girl there. It’s only at that moment when you’re those things.

Do not label yourself when you are trying to figure out who you are, cause you’re just boxing yourself in.

3. I’d work at keeping myself healthy. Your health is most important, both physically AND mentally.

Learn about appropriate nutrition, figure out your budget, and buy what you can afford. Treat yourself to what’s “unhealthy” every once and a while, cause you’re human.

Study Ericksonian techniques and NLP to learn about manipulation and persuasion. This strengthens your mind against the bombardment of manipulation by people, television, advertising, etc.

You are the gatekeeper to your own mind, so protect that mind of yours.

That’s more than enough for you to work on at this moment.

Your life is for you to decide, so start making decisions before someone makes them for you.

—

If you, the reader of this post, have any questions then send an e-mail to:
v [at] becomingapua.com

Here are my questions:

1. Do you think that beyond art, it all really boils down to “looks,” in other words, would a guy who is not as attractive as you probably are, have the same success? What are your thoughts on this?

2. Do you think it’s possible for you to fall in love with a girl friend? Have you ever had that experience?

3. Are you able to tell if a girl is faking an orgasm (how) and if yes, do you care? If you don’t care, why not?

4. What’s your take on marriage?

1. This is not a “Yes” or “No” question. First, what is “success” to you? A person living in the Playboy mansion that looks like Steve Urkel will have far more “success” than someone who looks like Christian Bale living alone in the desert. There are a multitude of other factors (i.e. the type of girls you like and the amount of them in your location, the age of girls you like, how low on the scale of attractiveness are you willing to go.)

2. When I think I’m “falling in love” I remember something from the 1997 movie The Devil’s Advocate:

Kevin Lomax: What about love?
John Milton: Overrated. Biochemically no different than eating large quantities of chocolate.

3. When you’ve given a girl a real orgasm you can tell when one is faking. I’d recommend you pick up some material on tantra and finding a girl you can practice with.

4. Marriage is just something that was introduced with religion. Religion and marriage are on their way out as you can see. Until you’ve truly found yourself I don’t think you should get married. If you don’t even know yourself then how can you know you’ve found “the one”? And no, you will not find your true self with religion, a spiritual movement, nor ANYTHING else that has rituals and/or routines.

———

John asks:

Glad you’re back!

Which method do you think is better, the more natural Mystery method or the Ross Jeffries NLP approach? Also, once you’re on a date with a girl, what’s the best way to segue from casual conversation to making out with the girl?

John in Paris, France

Well the Mystery Method is more indirect while Ross Jeffries is more direct. If you’re more comfortable being indirect then go with MM, otherwise try Speed Seduction.

Going from conversation to kissing will have to depend on how you got into the conversation in the first place (direct or indirect).

———

RockStarLand asks:

Hey V. It’s nice to see that you aren’t dead. How’s school going? You all finished yet?

Life is my school, and no, I’ll never be finished.

———

Jason asks:

where the fuck did you go?

Mainly to my basement to play Rock Band … and some traveling

———

b asks:

Is there such a thing as TOO much negging? I think I seriously pissed off a girl I sorta dig the other day by being mean. What do I do?

Yes. Hey, at least you got an emotional reaction from her. If you were an asshole then when you see her again forget like it ever happened and move on.

———

Capablanca asks:

What’s up V, greetings from Mexico.
I’m happy you’re back.
I like your blog, a lot, it’s very inspiring.
I’m amazed about your fast and radical transformation.
I’ve decided to become a PUA too, but it will represent a radical change of life, since i have already a girlfriend, but God!, i’m bored of my life, i need a change. It’s hard you know?
I’m 25 years and I don’t wanna keep like this, need to move on. I’ve been 7 years with my girl, so its really tough.
Well, i guess i still don’t have questions, but if you could only give me some inspiring advices.
I respect you man, a lot. (Sorry about my English)
See ya!

Do not pursue what is illusory - property and position: all that is gained at the expense of your nerves decade after decade and can be confiscated in one fell night. Live with a steady superiority over life - don’t be afraid of misfortune, and do not yearn after happiness; it is after all, all the same: the bitter doesn’t last forever, and the sweet never fills the cup to overflowing.
-Alexandr Solzhenitsyn

I keep getting asked to post field reports. My days are pretty routine; go out, meet girls, get numbers, go out, have sex, sleep, eat, do the #1 & #2. Not much stands out as being “special” but today had a little moment. Nothing crazy, just sex in a bathroom stall. …

I’m at school earlier today. I get my sarging out of the way before class. I scored 7 decent numbers and 2 solid numbers.

I head to my Psychology class and meet up with a girl friend.

My girl friend and I finish our class and walk & talk.

We discuss different levels of excitement can take sex to whole new levels.

She comes up with the “good idea” to try having sex in a public place. BUT she doesn’t want to do it in a place where there was a MODERATE chance of getting caught.

The chosen location for fornication is a bathroom stall.

We end up using the mens washroom of an older college campus building (currently undergoing asbestos removal).

Sexual activity commences. It’s awkward doing it in an older, non-handicap accessible stall, but it’s doable.

For me it wasn’t exciting, but for her it was, so I went with it.

After finishing our business we go to my place for dinner and a movie.

She’s still here, watching television. I’m not feeling randy or anything, just thought it’d be polite to let her stay the night for a snuggle session.

And that’s the gist of ‘My Day’.

My ISP has fixed the issue and I can now visit the site. Too late for them cause I’m switching companies. Did you know that even if you pay for 7 MBPS you’ll never get that speed cause they “have to have” a buffer. If I pay for a 12″ sub I’m not going to be accepting an 8″ sub.

Welp I just had a nap, gotta have those when you get only a couple hours of sleep a night.

Waiting on some friends to come and pick me up. They have to come from across the city, pick me up, and then head back their way.

It’s the first Friday of the new year for school students so it’s going to be wild. I have to find either a sober girl with a car, a SLIGHTLY intoxicated girl who lives nearby, or a girl with money to pay for cab fare.

I’m sticking to finding a slightly intoxicated girl who lives nearby.

Have a good night folks.

The time is . . . . 3 . . . . 24 AM.

I’m at a NEW girl friends place. Remember I have GIRL FRIENDS, NOT GIRLFRIEND(S). Her name is Mya, I think that’s her real name, but it could be a nickname. I don’t know, didn’t ask.

I put on some weight over the holidays, as we all do. To combat the chub I have been doing lots of cardio.

Today I decided to do an hour on this machine that gives you movement like you’re running but it doesn’t give you impact on your knees (NO, not a treadmill).

The issue with the gym is that there are a load of people with New Years resolutions to lose weight. Those people think watching TV while looking at television/gossip magazine will help shed the pounds. That means I have to use the equipment (it’s a small gym).

I now go late at night (around 8 to 9 PM), because there are fewer people there. Instead of watching television I’ll bring a book.

The book I brought to the gym was Robert Greene’s The Art of Seduction. I like to keep myself refreshed on the many persona’s I encounter infield.

I get to the gym sometime after 8. Strip off my fancy clothes (T-shirt and jeans) and throw on my gym clothes (T-shirt and short-shorts). I walk my way over to the cardio machine I mentioned a few paragraphs earlier.

A couple bikes over is a cutie whose reading some Canadian wannabe-Cosmo magazine. I pay no attention to her as I prepare myself for a sweaty hour of Robert Greene.

. . . . I thought Mya was going to bust me on her computer. She’s just a sleep-mover . . . and a snorer . . .

Back to me sweating. Sexy site eh?

As I’m invested in learning about Rakes and Ideal Lovers I get interrupted by cutie (which is Mya for those not paying attention, and I didn’t mention it earlier, my bad). She asks me what I’m reading.

She’s looking at a magazine mainly full of pictures. So I reply, “Can you read?’

She says, “Yeah . . .” To which I say, “Well why are you asking me what I’m reading when you can read what I’m reading?”

She says, “. . . Whatever.”

I then go back to reading what I’m reading . . .

She interrupts me a couple minutes later, “OK. I can clearly see the word ’seduction’ on the cover. What is it about?”

I look over and say, “Psychology.” She says, “Why?”

I’m a little pissed cause I came to read, not chat.

I say, “Cause I want to fuck a lot of women.” She looks at me for a second and says, “Well I am not one of those women you are going to fuck.”

I just laugh.

She says, “What!?” I say, “First, YOU want to fuck me. Second, I don’t want to fuck you.”

Then we get into a whole conversation on if she’s good enough for me and a bunch of insecure female bullshit.

In essence I tell Mya that I don’t want to fuck a girl based on appearance, I want to fuck a girl based on what I find inside. (Cheesy, BUT IT WORKS!)

Long story short, after working out we went to her place and I fucked her.

OK off to sneak back into bed with Mya. I hope I can sleep with all that snoring . . .

Night!

I have to thank my Visual Arts undergrad program for the many things I learned. The most important thing I learned was to think about what you see.

René Magritte’s Ceci n’est pas une pipe appeared multiple times during my undergraduate years. I paid no attention to it until my final year when I REALLY had to think.

Ceci n’est pas une pipe is French for this is not a pipe.

We are trained from the beginning to perceive images as reality. Remember the cue cards? “What do you see on the card? . . . Yes . . . It’s an apple. Good!” The problem with that is we get the same satisfaction from images as we would from the real thing.

My dad LOVES watching car restoration shows on television. Rather than restoring his ‘68 Shelby Cobra, he’ll watch guys restore their vehicles. He achieves GREAT satisfaction watching guys like Boyd Coddington restore rare vehicles.

Why? Cause he’s afraid that he’ll have screw ups with his “priceless” car. Instead of taking the risks with his own car, he’d rather watch other guys, like Chip Foose, take the risks.

The issue with television is that they only show the “good” stuff. People don’t want to see the stress and frustration. My dad gets all the goodness of restoring a car in just 30 minutes!

Emotionally I want to see happy endings, but logically I know it’s never the case. No matter what happens you’ll never be truly “happy”.

Ahh life.

So what can you take from this? Stop dreaming and start living.

Get out and do the girls AFCs can only dream of!

Here are the answers to questions asked on yesterday’s post.

beauty hunter asks:

I have two questions V

1. Do you think that workshops and seminars are neccessary for becoming a pua, and what is your point of veiw on that.

2. How do I join in the Becomingapua network?

1. No, workshops and seminars aren’t necessary to become a pick-up artist.

2. If you want to join the BecomingAPUA network (have your own personal development blog) then send me an e-mail describing what your blog will be about. My e-mail is V [removethisAT] BecomingAPUA.com

Victor asks:

1.- How did you lose your shyness to approach girls anywhere?

2.- Where do you take girls when you ask them out?

1. By realizing that life is a bunch of B.S.

2. I take girls somewhere that’s not out of my way and doesn’t cost me anything (i.e. school class room, mall, my house, park, their house . . .)

Dan Blakeman asks:

1. Did you start out having a daily regimen to get progressively better?

2. And if so, what was it?

thanks man! you’re an inspiration. Keep it up!

Dan

1. Yes.

2. I determined what I had to do to become the person I wanted to be. I then broke that up into daily, weekly, and month assignments.

Jhonny asks:

Hey V, love the blog!

1. how would you go about approaching a girl that works at a coffe shop, or at a restaurant.

2. do you feel that picking up is a assertive process (whereby one makes things happen and pushes the action to move forward, sexual or otherwise.) or would you say its a more relaxed process where you have to take the maximum of the opportunities that come your way? I know that both are true and not true.

I ask then because picking up can be a frustrating process and I often wonder if it should be. Should i be trying to ake things happen or just relax be myself and take it as it comes.

Thanks Brother!

1. I’d first find out if she enjoyed her job. If she did then I would keep conversations short and to the point, building up attraction, so that customers didn’t get upset. If she didn’t like her job then I’d strike up a conversation and keep it going until I got her number.

2. It’s all about perception. People love to follow (which is why we have a government). If you have a stronger belief of what will come, then others (hopefully hot girls) will follow you to that future (sex). I know what I want, but I come off relaxed so that I don’t make the other person uncomfortable.

Jackie O asks:

Hey V!

1.I am crazy about this girl at a cafe and I dont know how to ask her out. and not feel cheesy about it…. i know its all in my head but I find it difficult to get over that

2. Do you feel that smoking pot is detrimental to ones game?

1. What makes that one cafe girl special from the rest? Is she an actual gift from God? Probably not.

If you go to the cafe all the time then take things slow, and get her to find you fun to be around. Enough so that she asks if you want to hang out. If you rarely go in then shoot the shit and get down to business.

2. I don’t do drugs so I am unable to answer that question.

Gurtrude asks:

Can you provide some pics of what you look like in these different styles that you described? For example you said you went through a james bond phase, but I have a hard time imagining you wandering around a college campus in a suit so im not sure what you mean.

This is an example of something I wore during my “James Bond” phase -> http://timesnews.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/daniel_craig_reuters_photo.jpg

My university has a business program, so it’s not unusual to see someone in a suit.

Here is a punk-business example -> http://2007.sxsw.com/img/panelists/Halcyon_Styn_John_07.jpg

My current “nerd” look is similar to Rainn Wilson’s look -> http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Video/070323/x_sec_n_scar_rainewilson_070322.300w.jpg

Sharp asks:

I’m interested in this question, as well. Do you take Peacock Theory into consideration?

I do agree that you need to stand out. I prefer to stand out in subtle ways that the more attractive girls will notice (i.e. nice clean shoes).

Wednesday asks:

In your post about getting hot girls to call you, you mentioned the 4 steps to your game. (Open with something stupid, A.S.L., talk about adventure, talk about sex.)

I’m a fan of Juggler, so open-ended questions are a big part of my game. Do you think you could elaborate on your method a bit more?

The talking about adventure and sex are what I’m especially curious about. Asking something like “What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?” and having my own story prepared would help, of course. But what are some of the other things you talk about “in between” normal chat and sex talk?

And for the sex talk, how do you express interest while “playing hard to get?” Do you just talk about past experiences while clearly not coming on to her or what?

Between normal and sex talk I’ll joke around (i.e. Chuck Norris facts -> “Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands.”), find out what her ideal boyfriend is, what she’s eager for in life, if she wants to give me a strip search to show I’m all real and all man . .. OK I’m just kidding about the last part . . . or am I?

For sex talk I’ll throw out blunt shit but keep a straight face. During our regular chat I’ll say jokes but keep a straight face. When I then say something blunt (i.e. “Lets get sweaty. I’m talking sauna sweaty”) with a straight face she won’t know if I’m joking or not. This allows her to picture us getting sweaty in her mind while not sounding perverted, cause I can just say, “I’m joking.” if she gets freaked out.

Nomail asks:

Your goals sound great and liberating …

Would you mind mentioning how much time you invest in what you do … I rem reading something about 6-8 hours of walking around a day … so how many hours a week? etc

Do you ever just get jack of it … or are you at the point where its just part of who you are … where you see people as people you think might be interesting instead of just picking up …

I have traditionally not picked people up … but think I understand a lot of the concepts … and used some before with out knowing it … but these days I cant be bothered partly from fear of rejection / wanting acceptance … and partly think I am not genuine … so I shouldn’t start … but I know .. “Its only saying hi” etc

Thanks for your response.

I devote every day to discovering myself and the world around me. I spend around 6 around a day to picking up women. Multiple 6 by 7 and you get 42 hours a week.

I do not get sick of it. I’m stuck in this world, so I might as well figure out how it works and take advantage of it.

You’re not genuine? Nobody is genuine. We all smile when we don’t want to, we say, “I’m good” when we feel like crap, etc. etc. etc.

mackell Ross asks:

What is your number one prioriteies in life, because it is hard at times when you have a busy schedule to get girls, do you put your prioriteies first when it comes to get girls or do you let girls knock you off your course at times?

I am my number one priority. I never let a girl come first in my life.

Cyrik asks:

do you have any tips on keeping conversations alive? i sometimes have the problem that my conversations just die after the opener, if they dont give me any hooks in their answeres(opinion openers). i know i could just go into some story/routine, but the transition just feels strange/forced.

Don’t appear like you want to keep the conversation alive. If conversation feigns then focus on something else. This puts the cause of boredom on her. If you can’t even get past the opener then learn some funny facts. Throw those facts out and see if she’ll pick up the conversation.

If she doesn’t pick up the conversation then avoid her. You and her are obvious listeners. If you can’t become the talker then it won’t work out between you two.

Francher Meeks asks:

What changes have you noticed about yourself from when you were an afc compared to being a pua. Are you still the same person but now you just get out of yourself more?

I am becoming the person I was born as. No longer am I the person society forced me to be.

ChineseZZ asks:

The book “The Secret” says:

“There is no time, whatever you want in the future already exists. It takes no time for the Universe to manifest what you want. Any time delay you experience is due to your delay in getting to the place of believing, knowing, and feeling that you already have it.”

What is your understanding of it?

If you know EXACTLY what you want, and nothing will stop you from getting it, then you’ll get it. But once you have everything you come to realize you need none of it.

Sharp asks:

Hope you have some time to answer my questions, as well. Thanks in advance, even if you don’t.

Do you feel race has any influence on your game? Like, when you see an Asian, Indian, Black, etc… do you become more/less likely to neg, comfort longer, and so on? (This also includes their group, like if it’s a bunch of a certain race, as so often happens out in the field).

Also, do you feel that I (as a Chinese guy) would have a disadvantage approaching a Caucasian girl? (I do remember reading about Papa in “The Game,” but no details about this ‘touchy’ subject were revealed).

I apologize in advance, if I’ve burst anyone’s bubble, but these are real concerns that I have after reading all these books. Seeing Spoon fall out of the running the first week on that VH1 show really discouraged me.

Thanks All,

All girls to me are the same. Pussy is pussy.

Race for others is a factor, because of stereotypes. It’s difficult for a Chinese guy to overcome the bombardment of stereotypes. If you overcome it with a Caucasian girl, then you’ll have to deal with her friends, family, and society. If you’re both high in self-esteem then you’ll be fine.

Dan Blakeman asks:

Nother question>>In general, do you consider picking up girls difficult?

peace out.

Dan.

No, because I enjoy picking up girls.

Edgar asks:

Hey V,

I read in one of your posts you always use protection because you “don’t trust girls”…

Fair enough, and I totally agree,

but do you muff dive?

Cheers

I’ll only muff dive a girl if she tests clean at the local health clinic.

Product Description
This book will teach you how to recognize and use the magic of language. Mind-Lines reworks “Sleight-of-Mouth” patterns using the ‘logical’ level system of Meta-States. In doing so the authors bring order, understanding, and magic to the use of language in influencing, persuading, selling, negotiating, and many other human interactions.

Mind-Lines by L. Michael Hall is a book that’ll take you to the next level. NLP is your answer when you want to get girls with ease. One thing you must note is that this book is NOT a “magic bullet”.

Mystery’s Attraction, Comfort, Seduction phases are a great basic foundation. The use of NLP is what will take you beyond the basics.

Pick Up gurus like Mystery, Style, David DeAngelo and Sinn use Neuro-Linguistic Programming. They don’t tell you this because NLP is a complicated art. If you don’t have time to practice it then I recommend sticking to the basics.

How much does one have to practice NLP? It’s recommended that you write out at least 500 different NLP lines a week. Yes it’s hardcore, but it’s necessary.

Glancing through NLP will be of no use for you. If you have the time and dedication to go beyond the basics then move on to NLP.

Mind-Lines is an NLP book that’ll make getting girls A LOT easier