Mr. Anthony Stark asks:

Whats up V,

Just read your Jul 21 post and decided that it wouldn’t hurt me to start being proactive in my personal growth (and that includes using all available resource, like you.) I stumbled upon your blog way after you stopped being a AFC so I started reading your posts in chronological order. Unfortunately there are a lot of posts.

So I was wondering if you were starting out today as a AFC wanting change, where would you begin (read, do, etc.) ?

I already decided to kick up my hygiene (flossing), work out, and I’ve read The Game and David Allen’s productivity book Getting Things Done.

I think you’ll recommend The Wisdom of Milton H Erickson and The Superior Man, but what other books do you recommend?

Respect,
Mr. Anthony Stark

If I was starting out . . .

1. I’d get out of the television and get back to reality. They call it television PROGRAMMING for a reason. You are not Tony Stark. You are NOT Iron Man. Try just being you rather than pretending to be someone you’re not.

When you get this mindset that you’re something you’re clearly not then you get delusional. When you get delusional then no one wants to be around you.

When it comes to delusional look no further than Ross Jeffries (the guy sports a Green Lantern ring . . . ). Once you find out Jeffries’ tricks, which are pretty good, and that he’s pretty much in this community for the money then you move on to better people and better things.

Here’s a clip from the movie Network. It does a good job at explaining the power of the television:

No computer will ever match the power of your brain. No human could never recreate the human body from scratch. Rather than marvelling at your own body you aspire to be something from Marvel Comics?

They say most people only use 10% of their brain. I’m willing to say that most people use 0% of their brain. Much of society are given patterns to follow; they go to school to learn the pattern of 9-to-5 and they watch television to be be given patterns on how to behave (i.e. what’s appropriate to wear, to be politically correct, what to eat, etc.).

Do you want to LIVE your life (thinking and analyzing life) or do you want to be just another walking dead (just following the approved pattern given at that moment)?

2. I’d get out of being labeled. When you say, “I’m an AFC” then you’re saying that you’re a frustrated chump 24/7. When you say, I’m a PUA” then you’re saying that you’re a pick-up artist 24/7.

You’re an AFC at the moment you’re buying a group of unknown girls a round of drinks. You’re a PUA at the moment you’re leaving the club with the most beautiful girl there. It’s only at that moment when you’re those things.

Do not label yourself when you are trying to figure out who you are, cause you’re just boxing yourself in.

3. I’d work at keeping myself healthy. Your health is most important, both physically AND mentally.

Learn about appropriate nutrition, figure out your budget, and buy what you can afford. Treat yourself to what’s “unhealthy” every once and a while, cause you’re human.

Study Ericksonian techniques and NLP to learn about manipulation and persuasion. This strengthens your mind against the bombardment of manipulation by people, television, advertising, etc.

You are the gatekeeper to your own mind, so protect that mind of yours.

That’s more than enough for you to work on at this moment.

Your life is for you to decide, so start making decisions before someone makes them for you.

—

If you, the reader of this post, have any questions then send an e-mail to:
v [at] becomingapua.com

Don’t worry, I’m still working on me. Since I’m taken care of, lets get working on YOU!

Too many hours are spent figuring out how to be successful with other people (friends, girlfriends, etc.) and/or things (video games, trivia, etc.). How many hours do you guys spend a week on YOU?

If you don’t know who you really are then what’s the point with any of this?

By that I mean figuring out who you really are. Not what television or movies tell you who you should be. Not what your family and friends tell you who you should be. Start with a half hour a day. No distractions, no music, just you.

By suggesting that you figure out who you are as an individual I am NOT telling you to be egoistic, cause we all know where this selfishness will lead:

In regards to blog posting I’ve decided to answer people’s questions and post my response here.

You may contact me with your questions at v [at] becomingapua.com

If you wish to ask me something in private then please include a privacy request in the e-mail.

I just finished watching this documentary called American Movie. It’s about a guy named Mark Borchardt who is trying to finish his feature film Coven.

I watched the trailer for American Movie and it looked like a good laugh, so I rented it. I did laugh, but I also learned some things.

One look at Mark Borchardt and you don’t see too much. He looks like someone who came from the 80’s; thick glasses, mullet and interesting facial hair. He’s not eloquent, he’s broke, and his future doesn’t look bright. A couple things he does have going for him are his love for film and a way with words.

Mark uses his passion for film, as well as his way with words, to get help from family, friends, and unknowns. They fund him, film him and even feed him.

He spent three years working on this ~30 minute film Coven. Yes . . . three years. . . . But he got it done.

A lot of people worry about what to say when it comes to talking to girls or even guys. You don’t have to be the most eloquent person to get their undivided attention. Here’s a clip of Mark talking about his love for Burger King as proof:

Be passionate about what you have to say, speak from the heart and you’ll get anyone’s attention.

Get ‘er done!

Here’s the trailer for American Movie for those interested:

“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.”
–Randy Pausch

Here is a video I watch at least a couple times a week before going out. It’s from the movie Any Given Sunday with Al Pacino.

The beginning of the video tells it like it is; “POSITIVELY NO VISITORS”. The great game of life isn’t about “visitors”, it’s about “players”. We’re all in a sense playing the game, but most people are just here to “visit”; go to school, get a job, get a family, buy a house, and die.

Visiting is OK I guess, cause it is unconscious “fun”; work your butt off for money to get that hot girl in your life. BUT it’s impossible to go back to visiting once you’ve seen how much fun it is to be a real CONSCIOUS player.

The game of life is all about inches, even so with women; when/how to approach = an inch, when/how to phase shift = another inch, when/how to get down to business before “lets just be friends” zone = a very enjoyable inch …

Once you’ve had some luck with women you notice that even YOU are about inches. You find clothes that suit YOUR body = an inch, you find YOUR voice for loud environments = another inch, you find an endless supply of inches = a “hell yeah” inch …

As you improve yourself and your life then the girls you attract go up yet another inch; girls around you go from 7.1 to 7.2.

In the end it’s all about coming together with yourself; whether that be through the women that represent you or the hobbies that interest you. When you’ve learned that then you accept that there is something beyond this big game. Some call it “death”, but anyone who knows physics knows that nothing is created nor destroyed, only transformed.

Once you’ve accepted “death” then you’ll find yourself winning the game every second of your life. That my friends is when you REALLY live life.

“To fear death, my friends, is only to think ourselves wise, without being wise: for it is to think that we know what we do not know. For anything that men can tell, death may be the greatest good that can happen to them: but they fear it as if they knew quite well that it was the greatest of evils. And what is this but that shameful ignorance of thinking that we know what we do not know?”
–Socrates

The special was for the fashion designer Valentino Garavani. He is considered to be the best of the best when it comes to fashion design.

I was expecting this show to consist of desperate women crying over a gay guy. For the most part it was.

This gay guy can definitely handle the desperation of his admirers.

Watch how Valentino handles fashion television host Jeanne Beker as she kisses his ass:

While watching the special I made some notes:
- He doesn’t trust anyone.
- He checks everything down to the finest detail (God is in the details).
- If he doesn’t want to do something then he won’t.
- He loves what he does. It’s not about the money or the fame.
- He pays attention to the way the world around him changes.
- He knows his clientèle more then they know themselves.
- He believes in astrology (He believes he’s a Toro/Bull).
- Believes that your external appearance reveals your internal appearance.
- Isn’t afraid to tell someone like it is.
- Loves when others tell him like it is.
- Aims for perfection in every part of his life.

Regardless of what others think he goes for the gold every time. He is humble enough to change with the times, but remains true to himself. Valentino Garavani is a man.

It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.
Marcus Aurelius