I’m a really good fan of your website and i was just wondering if you could tell me the right way to approach girls without making a fool of myself?
I’ve just turned 18 yrs old and and im at college at the moment but ive only managed to get with 3 girls over the past 2 years and im starting to feel like I should give up. I was hoping an expert like yourself would be able to give me some pointers with how and what to say to girls in bars,clubs, college ect.
Thanks:)
(Hotmail kept bouncing my e-mail to ash so I decided to post my response.)
Hello ash,
no matter what you do there will always be someone who will think you’re a “fool”, whether it be because of something you’re wearing, or cause of the music you like, etc.
If you are comfortable with yourself, and who you are as an individual, then you won’t have to worry about anyone thinking you’re a “fool”, and that will come across to everyone you communicate with.
Forget the “pointers” and get comfortable with who you are as an individual.
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If you have any questions my e-mail is v [at] becomingapua.com
Ive been?in?PU girls for near 2 years now and in 16 im turning 17 in about a 3 weeks. Thanx for all your help your site alone has been the starting point for my sucess. like u were telling that other 15 yr old guy about PUing online on facebook?& myspace. I can initiate a conversation in reallife #close and very Rarley *close im still workin on it. i work mostly in supermarkets, malls, streets, and in the park?,but talkin inline is kinda weird 4 me since there are all this talk about online preditors now. how would i go about meeting and so on.?If u know what i mean its very hard to get a girl 15-17 2 trust you. Internet really isnt my thing but its something i want to really get good at cuz college is gonna b a blast and just like the other guy i wanna be atleast decent a internet game by then.
Thanx
I highly recommend you work on your grammar and spelling, especially if you want to get into a good College (Now that I’ve said this I’ve probably jinxed myself and will make a bunch of grammar and spelling mistakes . . . ).
Now to your question.
When there is a fear of someone being an online predator it’s usually the guy in a guy-girl conversation.
I’d suggest you switch that up.
Act as though she might be the predator.
Play around with the idea how you never know what the girl might do (keep it fun, nothing serious like she might slice your dick off or something . . . unless you can throw that in in a funny way . . . )
When it comes to the Internet and College the big thing seems to be Facebook.
If you’re an outgoing guy then be sure to have a Facebook with lots of pictures portraying you that way. If you’re a “mysterious” type of guy then don’t have Facebook.
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If you have any questions my e-mail is v [at] becomingapua.com
I was always the youngest in my grade because i skipped kindergarden when i was 6. Why my parents thought this to be a good idea I do not know (I thought it was a good idea because I was 6 god damnit and who the hell wants another year of school.) So my entire education ended up pussifying me with the peak of my pussyness occuring around 8th grade. Pretty much my whole life has been me battling my pussyness and learning that there really isn’t anything to be afraid of in this society. So now I’ve been out of high school for 2 years and I feel a whole lot different than I did before. What changed me the most I think is my job as a cashier at a grocery store. For 8 hours a day I do nothing but have forced interactions with people. Ive learned things to say to make them smile, I’ve learned subtleties in behavior that reveal a persons true state of mind, I get lots of girls flippin their hair at me n shit. One problem for me though is moving these interactions into public. I’ve tried going up to a couple super hot girls in a sandle store while I was on vacation and although i got them giggling and looking at each other I didn’t know how to escalate the situation to actually bringing them back to my hotel room (which of course was my goal on vacation). So I guess my main problem is escalation, I’ve always loved girls (maybe too much) since 1st grade really. I remember vividly looking at the girl in my class that I liked and almost going into giddy laughter when she was the one that ended up sitting next to me for the rest of the year. Of course I was a wussy ass 1st grader and I wasn’t making any moves :P. So I guess this isn’t really a direct question, just a vocalization of my journey with women. I’m still a virgin, I’m am pushing myself a little bit to get rid of it, but I’ve learned from other peoples mistakes and am not gonna bang the first thing that says yes (unless she’s good looking and it’s a good situation). I had a chance while on vacation to get this 16 year old girl but her face was unfeatured and a little downs syndromesque but she had a good body. I was staying with a few of my friends and when i asked them what they thought of the situation they said they would lose respect for me. (I’m almost 20 years old so there was a little bit of a power imbalance) This may have been a device of jelously, I learned that her sister was really hot when i saw them together later when they were checking out of the hotel, also I learned that if i pushed myself, went against the decision making of my peers and relied on myself I could have had what I wanted. I’m going on a rant here, I guess I’m a little uncomfortable around the female form and I am fearful for making that push for intimacy. Any suggestions?
Thanks for not charging me :P,
I need a good nickname to put here…
Hey Alex,
The only thing to fear is fear itself.
One thing that comes to mind when it comes to getting girls from the store to hang out in public is to hand them your very own “business” card along with their receipt.
The only person you can really trust is yourself. If you’re hesitant about having sex then sit down with yourself and understand why it is you don’t want to rush into having sex. If you’re just afraid of women then hire some hot escort for a girl friend experience.
It may seem a little expensive to get a escort, but it could save you a lot of time and money that you’d spend on a girlfriend to get her into bed.
Sticking your dick inside a girls vagina isn’t everything. If you think it is then you should go somewhere else.
P.S. You DON’T need to give yourself a nickname. The reason I go by “V” is cause it came from another nickname (”Virgin”), and I also like my privacy. Just be yourself, it’s all you can and should do.
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If you have any questions my e-mail is v [at] becomingapua.com
I wanted to ask you - what is your approach to the game?
I wasn’t sure of the right way to phrase this question, so I will elaborate. When/where/how do you meet women? What are your ideal situations for approaching women?
For instance, I might see guys run into traffic to cross a street because they see a hot girl, and then tell them “you are fucking sexy”. Or, I might see a guy jump into a limo with a bunch of hot girls in it. Or it might be something less spectacular like walking up to a girl who is walking down the street. Or it just might be going to clubs.
Some of the ways guys in the community approach girls I feel are inappropriate unless there is something about the girl that you absolutely have to meet her regardless of the consequences of the inappropriate approach. I feel like there are so many girls out there that completely going out of your way to meet someone, running across the street or otherwise, is unnecessary a lot of the time. I feel like a lot of the time, being “normal” can get the girl, and trying to be
spectacular will actually make her not want to see you again. What are your views on this topic?
Thanks.
J
Hey Justin,
I meet women wherever I run into them. I used to plan out my days in a robotic fashion, but I prefer to be myself and not a robot.
I do go out to bars during the ideal times (Thursday, Friday, and Saturday), but I do whatever I have to do during the week (i.e. go to the mall to buy some crap, go to the book store to get a book, go to the grocery store for some groceries, etc.)
There are women EVERYWHERE. You just open your eyes and your mouth.
There are A LOT of nut jobs in the pick-up “community”. Many of which are developing future nut jobs.
Here’s a video of one of the “respected” idiots (Alex from Real Social Dynamics): (Update: I guess this is a parody.)
Sure you can do some “crazy” things like running across the street to meet an attractive girl, but that’s just to expand your reality. It doesn’t mean you run across the street every time you want to meet a girl.
The whole point of this journey, if you want to call it that, is to find who you are, not to copy some idiot from Real Social Dynamics or some other cult-like pick-up business.
If you are happy with your progress then keep doing what you’re doing, if you are at a plateau then try some “crazy” shit to break through that plateau.
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If you have any questions my e-mail is v [at] becomingapua.com
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